My son reaches up and cradles my cheeks in his hands as he stares longingly into my eyes. It feels like he is reaching into my soul, sees who I am, and still loves me unconditionally. He hunkers down and cuddles into my chest before quickly popping back up to stare into my eyes. Climbing me like a jungle gym it seems he can’t get close enough. As he searches my face, the emotion is overwhelming.
It’s the morning after a colossal tantrum that resulted in me banishing his race cars for the entire next day. Initially, I think this physical charm is preceding a request to play Angry Birds or race cars, but he never speaks a word. I wonder if I have ever looked at him with such intensity and if I am capable of such undistracted peace. I’m reminded of God’s request for us to come to him with childlike innocence. God has gifted children with the purest minds. They can wipe the slate clean and see goodness in others. I pray my son never faints in his ability to love and deliver such amazing attention to another and, more importantly, to God.
It’s my goal to recover that pure goodness that, God provided, has been gifted to me through my child. If I am overcome each time my son approaches me with loving gestures, I can understand how my Father in Heaven must feel when I do the same for Him.
You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.
As we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen.
For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:18
Our countdown begins… 33 days until Ryan flies out for Thailand! We are so excited but overwhelmed by the amount of preparation still left for us to do.
The to-do list feels daunting at times with a toddler and a newborn at our side. I was feeling a little sour yesterday with all the commotion. I woke up feeling fresh and focused after an overdue shower. At one point, I raced my son around the house and was actually faster. It might have had something to do with the chocolate I ate, but today feels good!
I received an awesome text from my brother, Adrian, offering out of pure “inspiration,” he says, to set up our Facebook business and Fundly accounts. He has such a good heart. My oldest brother, Ethan, is incredibly business savvy and sacrificial of his time; he has been truly helpful with advice and setting up the website. God has blessed me with the world’s best brothers!
Mid-June, with my little boys in tow, we will be reunited as a family. Ryan is leaving earlier than us to start the agricultural season in Thailand. After arriving, the land must be tilled, the corn planted, and the fruit trees fertilized and pruned. He must also start the aquaponics project for the fish ponds.
The boys and I will be in the air and at the airports for over 30 hours! It seems only reasonable that Ryan will work hard to put the new apartment in order so I can pass out upon arrival. However, as any second-time-mom would understand, that will not actually happen. And anyone who has moved a child into a 12 hour different time zone also understands that will not happen.
A mom can dream.